Off Trail: Runners in Real Life.
Vol. 4, No.10
I feel bad every time it happens. Thankfully it doesn’t happen that often.
Like most people in this world, I am a creature of habit. Runners in particular are creatures of habit, either by nature or by force because we all know that consistency is key. My home Run Club is pretty amazing, simply because the people are amazing. I see my “running friends” almost every week. I make concerted efforts to run every Wednesday with the club and a weekend long run at a minimum. Often I’ll be running three times a week with my friends, always in running clothes, always on trail.
Over the course of weeks, months, years and thousands of miles I’ve gotten to know my “running friends” very well. I’ve logged at least 1,000+ miles with Robert, who has become my close friend both on trail and off. Dave has become a close friend and confidant, mentor in all things running, life and otherwise. They’ve helped me so much in my running, the only way to properly express their impact are the hundreds of mentions of them throughout The Long Run.
I could easily continue on with more “running friends” that have I’ve made in the club and their impacts on my life. People like Carlos, Fely, Jon, Ryan, Anthony, Artur, Carl, Carrie, Leah, Chrissy, Jan, Renae, Dwayne, Amy, Bryan, Karen, Laura, Cameron, Sarah and Daniela to name a few. The list of people I run with consistently goes on and on. I’ve logged hundreds of miles with these incredible people. There’s yet another dozen or more friends that I haven’t listed and their friendship means a lot to me. 1
So when I’m walking through the grocery store and simply walk right past one of my friends. I feel horrible.
This is especially true with the women. However, I’m always surprised how well the men can clean up as well.
95.8% of the time I see my friends, we’re in running clothes and those clothes have a purpose. To run. To get sweaty, gross and leave disheveled after a run, which happens often.
So when I see my friends in professional clothing, or wearing makeup and hair done, I’m always caught off guard, in a good way. However I always feel bad when I don’t recognize them. This has happened many times over the years.
It occurs to me that each and every one of them is more than just a “running friend”. These are my friends. In real life, even if I don’t immediately recognize them out in the wild. If any one of them were to call me for help, I’d do what I can, with what I have, where I’m at to the best of my ability.
One of those “running friends” who has become another good friend of mine is Mike.
Over the the course of the last two years, I’ve seen Mike’s growth both mentally and physically. For a long while he would never refer to himself as a “runner” for a multitude of self-imposed limitations. One of which is the fact he said he really doesn’t like it. Running is uncomfortable and not fun.
I’ve seen his mentality change. His frame of reference on running has shifted. The aperture has opened and his mind has accepted that running might just be enjoyable. I don’t want to speak for the man, but his actions prove to me that he’s got to enjoy it on some level.
He keeps showing up. Over and over again. Over the weeks and months we’ve logged many, many miles together. Often having hour long conversations about life, work, fatherhood and of course running and races. I’ve gotten to know his wife and his son Jakob through conversation and then in person.
When the news came down this past weekend that Mike’s son Jakob was in the hospital, my heart ached. This wasn’t the flu or RSV, both of which are spreading like wild fire right now. No, this was something much more serious.
Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. - Cancer.
FUCK Cancer. Especially when it attacks our young.
Every single person in America will be affected by cancer. Either personally or an immediate family member. I hate this for my friend and his family. In the course of 48 hours their lives has been flipped upside down and they are now forced to find a new “normal”.
I know my friend and his family will need some help. Mentally and emotionally first and foremost and of course monetarily. A GoFundMe has been established to help with the immediate needs and ongoing costs associated with this extreme change in life. From what was expected to be a routine visit to the Doctor has turned into a 10-day hospital stay with multiple tests, meds and the starting of treatment. They’re looking at a two-year treatment plan at a minimum.
If you feel it in your heart to help, please do. Even if it’s just a prayer for Jakob and my friend Mike and his wife Raquel, that’d be appreciated.
Running Friends are Real Friends.
You can learn so much about someone by going on a Long Run with them. Even if the conversation is mute. You can instinctually pick up the physiological cues when they are entering the pain cave and can see their immediate and continued mental reaction to that pain and headspace. You learn who has the grit to keep going when everything hurts. You learn who sticks to their plan, not matter what.
When my watch hits 10-miles, I’m fucking done! - Me talking to Robert.
Even on shorter runs, you can learn from your friends. Their dedication to achieving a goal, their ability to remain consistent despite life throwing every hurdle possible at them. Their ability to be resilient and flexible when conditions change. You learn when they are feeling “light” and are stepping it out faster than normal.
You learn how well someone plans ahead or how randomly chaotic, yet beautifully aligned someone’s haphazard approach to life still leads them to Run Club every week.
Both on trail and during post-run beers, conversations can flow. Having a conversation seems to be a dying art nowadays, yet still flourishes in those setting where people put down there phones, make eye contact and have a shared interest or goal. In my case, it’s running.
Yes. These “running friends” are Real Friends.
My list of friends was in no particular order and I know I’ve left out at least another dozen or more people. I’m blessed to know so many people and call so many friends. Thank you. Please don’t take it personally if I left you out, no ill will was intended here.