The Oscillation of Motivation
Vol. 4 , No. 2
First things first, you will now see a VOLUME (Vol.) and NUMBER (No.) for each posting of The Long Run. The Volume is what publication year I am in, I.E: Volume 1 was my initial year of writing in 2022. Volume 2 = 2023, Volume 3 = 2024 and now Volume 4 = 2025. The Number is the chronological posting within the Volume. As such, this is my second post of 2025 and thus, Vol. 4 (2025) No. 2. (second posting).
Week 2: Patience with the process.
This week had me working in Georgia and completing the majority of my runs solo. The solo runs in the dark and cold haven’t really been that enjoyable and when I’m done running, I’m back to being by myself in my hotel room. It’s not my ideal choice of training, however it’s stacking bricks and there are signs it’s working.
With better nutrition choices and an increase of strength training my weight is down just over four pounds this week and I’m physically feeling better. I had a good run on Monday evening where I clocked a mile in under 8-minutes and it felt good, so good I could have gone much faster if I wanted.
Trusting the process is tough and having the patience for results is emotionally unfulfilling. That is why so many people who begin a new fitness journey quit in the first two weeks. National Quitters Day is held the second Friday of the new year; this year it was last Friday on January 10th. I hope you didn’t quit.
There are a multitude of variables and elements essential to achieving success in fitness, life and business. One facet of those elements is consistency of action. It is an essential element. Without it, success is all but naught. Relying on motivation as the fuel for action is like throwing gasoline on a fire. It is a quick burst of light, heat and energy that feels great for a moment and provides a flash of hope of what can be. However the the fumes are quickly consumed and the fire relents quickly, much like the fire inside of each of us. Motivation is psychological, but I like to view it like a hormone. It will fluctuate with great highs and deep lows. It is often unpredictable and even when motivation is high, that does not mean success is near.
Use that motivation when it is present to take action! When it’s present, maximize it’s effects. Then when the motivation is gone and you find yourself in the doldrums of monotony, use discipline to drive action. Discipline is rooted deep in the psyche and soul, it’s tough to manipulate and disrupt. When your disciplined on a particular action, you’ll find yourself taking action in the absence of motivation and that action will continue to propel you towards success.
Have patience. Trust the process. Maximize the benefits of motivation when it’s present but don’t put any faith into it’s long-term efficacy. Instead build disciplined habits and keep taking action regardless of how you emotionally feel bout it.
Don’t be a quitter. Be Disciplined and JUST KEEP SHOWING UP.
Monday: 1.6.2025 (Day 6 of 90): Monday Kicked Back
I slept like complete shit on Sunday night, I don’t often get a good nights rest when I’m traveling for work, so it was almost expected. Day one on a jobsite is always hectic and discombobulated, today was expected to be no different so I set my alarm early to get to the local YMCA to kick Monday in the teeth.
After scoping out the local YMCA, I realized there were no lockers available to lock up my stuff, meaning I’d have to leave it in the car. The weight room was packed at 5:30am and it was too nice of a day out to go into the cardio room. They have a large indoor pool for laps, but I didn’t bring any of my swimming stuff. So with little hope of doing what I wanted in the YMCA, I retreated back to the Jeep and threw on my running shoes.
It was dark. The path around the local park I was going to run was also dark, hence I took my headlamp. I was ready to knock out a 5K at a reasonable pace.
That is until every step I took seemed to drain every bit of energy out of me. I was confused and frustrated! My motivation was good, albeit tired from just 5hrs of sleep the night before, but I felt good and it was a good morning to run. So when every step reminded me of Super Mario Bros 2, you know, when you have to jump over and over again to avoid sinking into the quicksand. Yeah, every step was a struggle not to be pulled down.
At mile 1.2 my headlamp died. Stupid damn LED headlamp, it goes at 100% illumination until it doesn’t. I miss the days of the old incandescent lights that would simply go dim when the battery was low. At least then you knew. Not with this new LED light, it’s 100% until it’s 0%. It’s either on or it isn’t.
I fucking called it. I was done. I limped my way back to the Jeep with no light source and swore to tackle this course after work.
**Lesson Learned: Just because you’re motivated doesn’t mean it will be a good run.
1.51 miles | Avg Pace: 10’00” | Avg HR: 115 | Best Mile: 9’36” | Feeling: Ready! | Motivation: 7
I told myself after that shit this morning that I’d be back to make a second attempt at running. I have a problem, it’s a condition really. If I tell myself I’m going to do something, I have to follow through with it.
That all briefed well until it was time to take action. After a long day of work and little sleep, I found myself sitting in the Jeep at the same exact park, exactly 12 hrs after my last attempt to run. The wind had picked up, the temperature had dropped and to top it all off, I was hungry.
I know what it’s like to be HANGRY, is there a term for when you are running while hangry? If not, there ought to be. Let’s hear your recommendations in the comments.
So, I decided not to bitch out, again. The first lap I went without my hat or gloves, which was a mistake. Good thing this was a 1-mile loop, so on my second revolution I grabbed my hat and gloves and took off.
I was tired, hangry and unhappy. I didn’t want to run, but discipline prevailed.
What ended up happening was a fast 3-mile run that ended with appreciation of having discipline.
**Lesson Learned: Discipline is better than motivation, every day of the week.
3.01 miles | Avg Pace: 8’27” | Avg HR: 143 | Best Mile: 7’52” | Feeling: Tired | Motivation: 3
Tuesday: 1.7.2025 (Day 7 of 90): Two-Miles followed by LEG DAY.
Runners dress weird. At least as compared to the rest of the people walking the trail or lifting weights in the YMCA. I got a couple of odd looks wearing my calf sleeves, but I didn’t give a damn because they’re not trying to qualify for Boston.
The strength training continued today with a planned “LEG” day with squats, deadlifts, lunges, etc at the nearby YMCA. The jobsite closed up early enough for me to get a run in with the sun still on my face, so I stepped off for a 2 mile run warmup before stepping into the squat rack.
Before you even think about it, no I did NOT wear my new Clifton 9’s into the squat rack. I know better than that. Never LIFT in your running shoes and never RUN in your lifting shoes. In my case, as my running shoes wear out over 400-miles, I convert them into gym shoes. Yes, I go to the gym with two pairs of shoes and if you’re a runner who is also lifting, you should too!
I got in the squat rack and started my program of 5x5 barbell back squats starting at 135lbs. By the time I got to 225, my left knee was giving me some grief and some slight pain set in.
Now, 20yrs ago I would have just shrugged off the pain and worked through it, knowing I needed to get in the squats. However, now at 43yrs old, I know better and decided to back off the weight and shift focus to another leg exercise.
My leg day consisted of:
Barbell Back Squats
Leg Extensions (Machine)
Calf Raises (Machine)
Farmers Carry w/53lb KB in each hand.
Lunges.
I followed up these leg exercises with another 20 minutes of abs. Everything from sit-ups to crunches, leg raises and flutter kicks.
Overall today’s post-work run and weights was good, however I feel the need to pick up the intensity with the strength training! Standby for what’s next.
**Lesson Learned: Pain in training is not something to push through, recognize the condition, modify the movement and continue building strength. The time to be tough and perform through the pain is on race day, not today.
2.26 miles | Avg Pace: 8’26” | Avg HR: 136 | Best Mile: 8’06” | Feeling: Normal | Motivation: 5
Wednesday: 1.8.2025 (Day 8 of 90): Just Get Up and GO!
Stupid side effects of increased protein intake. I knew my lunch was going to interrupt the normal digestive flow and increase flatulence in my usually quiet life.
Thank God I was on the trail alone tonight.
Thank God I’m on the road and not home, Elizabeth would be pissed.
No, I didn’t lose my socks in this local park, but this was a rather musical run thanks to the beans, those oh so wonderful magical legumes.
At the job site today, my coworker wanted to go grab lunch instead of staying on site and eating our usual brown-bag lunch. To keep my low-carb lifestyle going, I chose to go to Moe’s.
Bed of Lettuce - Double Steak - Fajita Veggies - Black Beans - 1/2 serving of queso and some Pico.
I knew better. All that damn steak, piled up with black beans and queso. It was a recipe that left it’s contrails behind me on the local park trail.
After work, my motivation level was near zero. I really just wanted to lay around on the couch, watch T.V. and do nothing. I had to dig deep into my running bag and see if there was any motivational crumbs left in the bottom. There wasn’t.
Today was going to rely solely on discipline.
So I got my sorry ass up, grabbed all my gear and made my way to the YMCA where I committed to 45 minutes of weight training before changing out my shoes for a run. I found myself on the trail around the local park, going around in circles and not caring a lick about my pace or heart rate. I scrolled my watch face to a custom display that only displays the time of day and my distance. I simply ran to get my obligatory Wednesday 5K completed. It was an easy run.
**Lesson Learned: After eating copious amounts of protein, but sure your back blast area is clear while running or lifting in public places. My friends might understand, but strangers will just think your strange and gross.
3.12 miles | Avg Pace: 9’48” | Avg HR: 126 | Best Mile: 9’23” | Feeling: Lazy | Motivation: 1.57
Thursday: 1.9.2025 (Day 9 of 90): Rest Day, or that’s what I told myself.
What can I say? I made excuses and rationalized their importance to a level that stopped me from working out. It was a cold day on the job site where I was was uncomfortably cold all day long. Mainly due to my own lack of preparation for this cold snap in Georgia, also because our site receives no direct sunlight and is unheated.
After yesterdays protein fiasco and spending an almost record setting amount of time sitting on Elvis’s thrown, I was dehydrated and ill prepared for a workout this evening. In addition to being cold all day, hungry and dehydrated, I had to assist a friend who was in a car accident get into a rental car, which threw my timeline for a run into the trash.
My irrational mind rationalized that all of these hurdles and excuses were valid reasons to simply stay in, eat dinner and relax on the couch.
What a fucking mistake. I regret it already.
Let me be the first to tell you. “COMFORT IS A LIE”. How do I know? Because I’ve been betrayed by my own irrational mind and now instead of building towards Mesa, I spent an evening wasting away.
My self imposed penance will be a 60-minute run tomorrow morning starting at 5:30am. No matter the cold, darkness or how tired I may feel. I’m going out the front door for an hour run.
**Lesson Learned: Sometimes the hardest part is just getting out the door.
0.00 miles | Avg Pace: - - | Avg HR: - - | Best Mile: - - | Feeling: Pitiful | Motivation: 0.59
Friday: 1.10.2025 (Day 10 of 90): The Struggle Bus was still moving.
With yesterdays failure to launch, I had a goal of running for an hour before work. When I’m home, I set the alarm on my watch which only vibrates and only wakes me up and not the sleeping beauty beside me. But last night, I set my phone alarm instead of my watch.
It was a rude awakening when I instantly realized the alarm volume was set to wake up the rooms on either side of me too. I doubt they even read this blog, but if you happen to, I’m sorry. I wasn’t happy about the blaring alarm either!
I was moving, like a sloth. My mind knew what had to happen, but my body seem to be instinctually resisting what my willpower was forcing it to do. Discipline was smashing hard on the gas peddle and the struggle bus was barely moving. After 45 minutes of figuring out my life, I was dressed for the sub-zero weather and found myself face to face with the rare southern cold. Then I just put one foot in front of another.
With a goal of running for 60 minutes, I stepped off for what should have been a 6-mile run. I didn’t reach that goal. I finished up my run at 43min18sec, which was the perfect ending time because I was back at the hotel and successfully avoiding my socks between two tree’s in a neighborhood!
I was on the struggle bus for this entire run. I never warmed up, my pants felt like they were made out of led and my shoes somehow gained 4lbs of weight overnight. I’ve lost a couple pounds since December and this XL top is now a little too big, allowing airflow to get in, which super cooled whatever sweat I did produce, thus making the situation even worse.
The only pro’s on the morning was that all my lights were fully charged and the streets were empty except for the dozen or so deer that I crossed paths with. I was also satisfied with getting in at least 4-miles and not calling it quits at 5K.
**Lesson Learned: Deer are more startled by you, then you are by them. Just keep running.
4.03 miles | Avg Pace: 10’44” | Avg HR: 112 | Best Mile: 10’26” | Feeling: Heavy | Motivation: 6
Saturday: 1.11.2025 (Day 11 of 90): Saved by a snow day. (kind of)
I’ve been talking smack for a year to Jan, who I have an informal competition with each January at the Milltown Java Jog-5K. In 2023 she beat me in the 5K, then I got revenge in 2024 with a win by a mere 1.2 seconds. This year was supposed to be our match to end the competition. Then it snowed.
I had also been in a friendly competition with Jackson, who is half my age but in my last couple of races has been less than 60 seconds behind me. I’ve been telling him for the past six months that I’d be averaging a 7’30” pace!
Honestly, 7’30” was a stretch and in my current condition, 7’50” is more of a reality!
This has been a race I’ve been looking to for the last 52 weeks, so when the weatherman said we’d be expecting snow, I was both relieved and upset at the same time.
The expected snow day has delayed the race to next weekend. Unfortunately I will not be able to race that day because of some previous family obligations and thus I’ve dodged a demanding race where I would have to beat two people.
Winter doesn’t last too long here in The South. For this particular storm, it lasted a mere 18hrs. It started snowing and sleeting last night and started melting by 10am this morning. It was well above freezing at 41F by the time we all met up at 1pm for a run.
The dozen of us who met up had planned runs ranging from 3 miles to 18 miles. The roads were mostly clear with a few puddles here and there that were easy to navigate around. It was an easy 6-miles with my friends Dwayne, Amy and Mike with good conversation that kept us going for this hour long run.
**Lesson Learned: Having a conversation during the run makes the miles go by faster.
6.06 miles | Avg Pace: 10’48” | Avg HR: 127 | Best Mile: 10’20” | Feeling: Happy to be back with my friends | Motivation: 8.5
Sunday: 1.12.2025 (Day 12 of 90): Preparing for my last 5-miles of the week.
As you’re reading this, I’m actually out finishing up my last five miles to meet my weekly goal of 25-miles per week for these first 12-weeks of 2025. I’ve set a deadline to publish every Sunday at 12:00pm and I plan on sticking to it.
I will update this post when my run is complete. Stay tuned.
**THE UPDATE**
During this strength periodization phase I have a goal of running 25 miles per week and keeping each month at 100 or more miles per month. I’m not so much concerned with pace, just whatever feels right at the time.
I made my way to my home YMCA to complete a 5-mile route through the town of Garner, NC. This was a nice change of scenery as it took me through town on a route that I usually don’t run. Things felt good with the temperature at 38F with no wind. The only concern today were drivers, especially those with dark tinted windows that don’t allow me to see the driver. I crossed approximatley 127 driveways and side roads where, if it weren’t for my own awareness and stopping, I would have been hit three times. All three by vehicles with blacked out windows, leaving a neighborhood, running a stop sign and not caring for pedestrians.
I’m good at pattern analysis. There is a clear pattern here.
Despite the drivers, the run felt nice and easy.
I crossed paths with a few other runners and a handful of walkers. All exchanged pleasantries and looked to be enjoying the outdoors. The sidewalks were clear except for a few minor patches of ice but those didn’t create any serious hazards.
This was the only solo run I had all week that I actually enjoyed.
**Lesson Learned (From Anthony “The Rock”): When you feel good, GO!
5.14 miles | Avg Pace: 9’22” | Avg HR: 144 | Best Mile: 8’45” | Feeling: Good! | Motivation: 8.0
Week 3 Preview
I’ll be back in Georgia for the week, except I’m going to change things up a little. The local YMCA near my hotel has a great indoor heated pool, so my plan is to get in some morning swims followed by evening runs. I haven’t swam since last August, so I’m really looking forward to getting back in the water.
I will also continue do dial in my nutrition as I’ve identified a few things I can modify and add to my diet. Like decreasing the amount of sugar-free cookies and increasing smoked salmon.
My goal is to drop another 1.5-2.0lbs of bodyweight next week week through nutrition modifications and increased exercise in swimming.
As of today I am 41 days away from my next Cruise (Disney Treasure) and 274 days until I start my Mesa-Marathon build with the goal of qualifying for the 131st Running of the Boston Marathon.