The Division Run
An All American Tradition of Mandatory Fun
On Monday Morning, May 20th, 2024 approximately 10,000+ Paratroopers will be waking up early to participate in the 82nd Airborne Division Run to kick off All American Week 2024. The formation of Paratroopers is approximatley six runners wide and stretches for more than two miles! By the time the Commander is turning around at the 2-mile mark, the last elements of the formation haven’t even worked up a sweat. The formations are kept in unison with the singing of cadences, keeping everyone “in-step” and uniform. They sing about War, Jody, Drinking, Hookers, MEDEVACS and throwing leadership into the lake to drown. Of course there are songs about sister units and how inferior they are and everyone involved sings about how disgusting LEGS are. LEG’s are non-airborne Soldiers and yes, LEG is a derogatory term used. The cadences are only broken up by the thumping of Helicopters flying overhead and the bone rattling bursts from the cannons bellowing smoke over the formations. It’s a run like no others.
For most people who serve or have ever served in the All American Division, this run is mandatory. You will be there. You will run and you WILL NOT fall out. Participation is mandatory and for those who somehow find a way out of it are usually envied or hated.
Think of All American Week as the homecoming week of the 82nd Airborne Division. They host sporting events for Paratroopers, Memorials, Breakfasts, Banquets, Unit BBQ’s, Military Demonstrations and it all ends with the Division Review on Thursday. Overall it’s a week where Veteran’s and current Paratroopers meet and the history and culture of the Airborne is remembered, honored and perpetuated into the future.
I was honored enough to be an All American Paratrooper for over a decade from 2000 to 2012 and have participated in this run and All American Week on multiple occasions. Some things in the Army stay the same but most change and experiences vary greatly between the decades. It’s been almost 12 years since I donned the coveted Maroon Beret, but the memories of this run are permanently imprinted into my being.
Here’s a story about my first time in the formations of the Division Run. Hopefully you find it entertaining, insightful and gives you small glimpse of my lived experiences as a Paratrooper.
Remember. Experiences will vary.
GUIDON BEARER
The Guidon is essentially a small flag on a 7ft pole with unique markings that identify the military unit. It is placed outside the building every day when the Commander arrives and is taken in every day when the Commander leaves. As for a Division Run, the Guidon remains at the front of the formation where the Commander is leading the way. However, a Commander never carries their own Guidon! In fact, you’ll almost never see an Officer carry a Guidon unless they are in a school setting or a specific ceremony. Officers just don’t carry the Guidon.
That task is left to the Guidon Bearer.
Back in 2001, (Pre-9/11) it was a fierce competition between the Platoon Sergeants as to which high-speed Paratrooper would be the special selectee as the Guidon Bearer. The 1SG had the final say and to be selected as the Guidon Bearer meant you not only lived the Army Values but displayed discipline and was physically fit. The Guidon Bearer was the generally the best lower-enlisted Paratrooper in the formation. Due to the efforts of my NCO’s, my work ethic, discipline and physical aptitude, I was the leading contender. I was the chosen one for the Division Run. Should I fall out of this run, my career was basically over.
In 2001, it was common for the Guidon bearer to pass it on to another troop to catch a break. There is a specific manner that you must run with the Guidon that doesn’t allow you to rest it on your shoulders or run with your hands by your sides. Although I once witnessed 1SG Abraham Olivas bit down on it like a bulldog and run with it for about a 1/4 mile. It takes strength and discipline to maintain proper form. Thus, the Soldier carrying it during the run may change a few times, but the Guidon Bearer always started and ended the run with the Guidon in hand, located just behind the Commander.
So at 4:30am on Monday morning when my NCO approached me and informed me that I would be the ONLY person to carry the Guidon during this Division Run, well I was a little surprised. I was given an order. Instructed that if I were to pass it on to anyone, it was a sign of weakness and I’d be a damn embarrassment not to mention my future possibilities of schools and promotions would be retarded if not outright removed. Today, I would be the ONLY person to carry the Guidon. From start to finish.
The day started early and the slow march down to the staging area was easy. It was a logistical show of precision to see 14,000 people formed, rectangles made up of thousands of people. I remember hearing the Division Commander give some motivational speech before the Flag went up while Reveille played across Fort Bragg. Next thing I know, the cannons fired and the Division Command Team stepped off.
Roughly 10-15 minutes later my unit started the run and we were off! My orders were clear. Do NOT pass off the Guidon to anyone under any circumstances. Falling out wasn’t even in the realm of possible and I was not one to let down my NCO’s or show weakness. Off we went.
The first mile of this four mile run is maddening. It’s a slinky effect of speeding up and running a 7’30” mile then slowing down to a standstill, then back to running fast before coming to a standstill. By the time we hit 1.5 miles, things have settled into a good rhythm with the cadence callers. Our goal as a unit was to stay within 10 yards of the unit in front of us and DO NOT FALL OUT.
What’s a “Fall Out” you may be wondering. It’s someone who can’t keep the pace, gets too winded and can no longer maintain the 1-arm interval of space between them and the Paratrooper in front of them. 1-arms length, that’s all you go. If you were to slow down, you’d get a few good stern warnings from NCO’s first.
“PICK IT THE FUCK UP! STOP FUCKING THIS UP. CLOSE IT UP!”
Once that NCO was done with you, the Troopers behind you would start letting you hear it with calls of, “Let’s go fatboy!” , “I knew you were fucking weak", “Just fall out you piece of shit”.
Then another stern warning to “close it up”, usually followed by a rhetorical question like “What the fuck is wrong with you?” or “Why are you so fucking weak?”. No answer was expected, it was as much a statement as it was a question that needed no answer.
If you kept messing up the formation, an NCO would tell you to “Fall Out”.
You were told to move to the sidewalk and start walking. All while the other 13,999 runners ran past you, hurling insults at you like cannon fodder. You weren’t allowed to deviate from the sidewalk. To hunker away in the safety of the adjacent housing area or side-road that would take you back to your unit outside the eyes and yells of the runners. No, you had to do the walk of shame. IT WAS GLORIOUS.
And at the end of the formation was an NCO running with a notepad and pen. Collecting names and units, ensuring your embarrassment wouldn’t end when the run ended. No, you’re life as a Paratrooper was about to get extremely painful.
For the “Fall Outs” walking on the sidewalk, you’d hear every taunt known to man. Stuff nowadays I’m afraid some Commander would try to throw you in the Brig for.
“YOU FAT FUCK! Stop fucking eating and start running!”
“TURN YOUR FUCKING SHIRT INSIDE OUT! YOU’RE A FUCKING EMBARASSMENT! YOU CALL YOURSELF AN INFANTRYMAN. YOU’RE FUCKING PATHETIC”
“GO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF. WE DON’T NEED FALLOUTS LIKE YOU!”
“I BETTER NOT SEE YOU IN THE DFAC (Dining Facility) LATER! YOU FAT LAZY BASTARD”
“FUCK YOU LOSER”
“YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT”
“YOU OUGHT TO BE KICKED OUT. LAZY BASTARD”
Those are just a few examples of the motivational phrases being yelled at you from 14,000+ Soldiers who were still running. Still maintaining the standard. Still doing what was expected of them.
Now you understand my sheer shock and horror as my Commander was slowing down! We were much further than 10 yards behind the element in front of us. As a young Specialist (E4) I was encouraging my Commander to go faster. I was in shock. How could this man, be a Captain, a Battery Commander and not make the Division Run. More and more he slowed down. More and more the gap grew. It was embarrassing.
Then came the slap on my ass.
It was the universal symbol that another Guidon Bearer was requesting their turn to run with the guidon.
I didn’t even turn around. I just kept running. Encouraging my commander to pick it up.
Another slap on the ass.
“FUCK YOU!” I yelled, not even turning around to see who it was.
"Another slap on the ass followed by “Give me the damn Guidon”
“FUCK YOU” I yell again, not even bothering to turn around.
“GIVE ME THE DAMN GUIDON TROOP!” came a commanding voice that startled me.
I turned around to the see the Major, the Battalion Executive Officer (2nd in charge) ordering me to give him the Guidon.
What could I do? Say no? Why would I relinquish my duties, let alone to an officer.
But I did. I passed on the Guidon, but stayed within arms reach, knowing full well he would hand it back and I was determined nobody else would get it. For the next 5 minutes I witness the BN XO digging into my Battery Commanders ass. Cursing, yelling and threatening. I’d never seen Officers speak to each other like that.
Then I saw something I never saw again.
The Commander was relieved. Told he was a Fall Out and to get out of the formation.
The Major grabbed one of our 1st Lieutenants and placed him at the front after handing the Guidon back to me. The LT picked up the pace, we closed it up and finished the Division Run without our Commander.
By the time I saw the Commander again, I’d had already eaten breakfast and he was cleaning out his office. He had signs of receiving an IV, but that didn’t help his career. There is only one way to properly fall out of a Division Run and that is to die. Literally. It’s happened. Ask me about my friend SFC Bostick and how he died of a heart attack, fell into the grass and a couple thousand people ran past his body, yelling at him to “Get the fuck up” before finally someone stopped to check on him. He’d already passed on before someone called for an ambulance. Times were different back then.
In my career I would later go on to participate in another half dozen Division Runs. I’d witness the Army change. Eventually fall-outs were allowed to duck into the adjacent housing areas and be shielded from the verbal onslaught. Cadence callers are no longer allowed to sing about lining up 100 whores and fucking them all or how Napalm sticks to kids.
These days as a civilian I just go and watch when the weather is good. The Army has banned passing out cold beers to the troops and thus the government continues their ban on all things fun and perpetuating their ability to ruin just about everything.
Running in a club full of civilians and absent the regimented structure of command, running is fun on it’s own, it doesn’t need to be mandated. Standards now are self imposed and there is no shame in “falling out” if you’re just not feeling it that day.
I do enjoy running now much more than I ever have in my life, but there is something special about Mandatory Fun Runs in a formation of 14,000+. I don’t miss it but I am proud to have served in such an organization in a time where you had to have tough skin and be emotionally resilient.
The story you just read happened well after I met Ozzy and his influence on me. Yes, I was once a “fall out”, but that deficiency was corrected early in my career with the intervention by Oz. You can read about that in The Trailhead, published in July 2022.
Lastly. Here’s a video from one of my Jumpmaster Duties (Primary). I was lucky enough that a good friend of mine was able to capture this as this is the ONLY known video of me Jumping or performing Jumpmaster Duties.
For those of you reading this who are local to NC, I’d recommend visiting Fort Liberty and Fayetteville and visiting the Military Museums. If you’d like to learn more about the 82nd Airborne Division and how they received the name "All Americans”, you can do so at the 82nd Airborne Division Museum’s Website.
