Off Trail: Identity and Running.
Vol 4. No. 14
We are what we repeatedly do, excellence therefore is not an act, but habit.
Introspection is an ongoing process. The ability to self analyze and inspect our own mental and emotional state and processes is a gift. Especially if you can identify necessary and proper changes to your choices and actions that can help you reach wellness and peace. Sometimes, maybe more often than not we need help with introspection and seek the assistance of a therapist. I have met with multiple therapists to help with my PTSD. Sometimes self-evaluation and self directed course-correction isn’t effective. Sometimes we need help and seeking help is a sign of strength. It takes strength and courage to be honest with yourself and raise some fundamental questions.
Who am I, and why?
Who do I want to be?
What are my values and morals?
What is my identity?
What is my purpose?
If I run 6 to 7 days a week, does that make me a runner? It must.
If I’ve completed multiple Marathons, I must be a Marathoner, right? It only makes sense.
These questions and self reflections were first posed to me by an Army Chaplain many years ago. He saw that I basing my identity and foundations around my position and rank in the Army. At the time I thought God created me to be a Paratrooper, to be a Leader of Men and warriors. I had a difficult time distinguishing who I really was as compared to the role and position I was serving in the Army.
Being a Platoon Sergeant is what you do, it’s not who you are. -U.S. Army Chaplain
I recently saw an Instagram post by Nick Bare where he indicated he was shifting his workouts to cycling in order to properly recover after being hit by a car while running. While he said he would miss running during this recovery period, running was not his identity and he would continue on living a full life and being happy.
Running is not his identity.
I was also nudged into this topic by a complete stranger who struck up a conversation at the Airport as we both waited for our flight that seemed forever delayed.
So, what do you do?
The first thing that came to mind was the thought that I try to make people’s lives better by building individual relationships and community. I actively give love and provide security and safety to my wife and children. I do my best, every day at making my best attempt to being a good human. That’s what I do.
Yet, such a deep answer to a total stranger immediately struck me as something unwarranted. So I had to clarify.
“Do you mean, what do I do for work?” - Me
“Yeah, what do you do for work that brought you here?” - asked my fellow air traveler.
So, what do I do? Who am I?
I am not my position at work, however many of the attributes that have made me successful in my field are intricate parts of my being. It is true, I am a runner, however it’s not running that defines me but rather who I am that defines my running.
Running isn’t my identity, despite running six to seven days a week. It’s who I am, that makes me a runner. It’s what I do, the actions and decisions I make that define who I am. Running isn’t who I am, it’s my choices, driven by character and guided by a moral compass that make me a runner.
To be, you must do.
Passion without action is pointless.
Thoughts and ideas are elements of near unlimited potential power. They can be motivating, inciteful and provocative, but only when you take action on those thoughts and ideas are they actualized. Ideas have the potential to change lives and change the world, however change only happens when they are put into motion.
If you want to be a better runner, you must run.
If you want to be an honest person, be honest with yourself and others.
If you want to be better, you need to do better.
The more I reflect and write on this topic, the more I understand that it’s not what you do that defines you, but who are that defines what you do and thus what you do is merely a reflection of your morals, ethics and personal philosophy and religion.
If you have compassion in your heart and a calling of selfless service, then you may be compelled to volunteer or take up a profession that places others before yourself. If you have a strict moral code, then you may choose to live a life of honor and integrity and your choices and actions will reflect that. If you love art and creation with an ambiguous and non linear thought, you may take actions to change the world by creating art that is thought provoking or relaxing. It’s amazing what an inspiring wall mural in a Children’s Hospital can do to the healing and recovery of patients and parents alike.
So let your personal code of conduct, morals and ethics guide you in what you do in life.
Take time to think and reflect.
I recommend taking some time in your life to sit, relax, meditate and reflect on how far you’ve come, where you are and where you want to be. As for me, I don’t do well with sitting and I find that I attain my meditative state in the midst of a long solo run, without headphones when my heart rate, breathing and stride fall into an automatic rhythm.
Do I love running? Absolutely. Is it important to me? Absolutely. Do I base my life choices, morals, ethics and self worth on my running capacity or ability? Absolutely not.
Do I dedicate hours of my life to running, yes. But it’s not the function of running that drives me, it’s the personal relationships I’ve made while running and the community I’ve become a part of that fosters my actions. Running is not who am I. I am simply Husband, Father, Brother, Friend who also loves the utility of running and it’s benefits to my body, mind, emotions and spirit.