“Let’s not repeat what happened last year.” I tell the Fat Man as I climb into the Jeep.
Last year I nose-dived into the ground in an act of self-destruction that resulted in running just 13.53 miles in December of 2022. It was disgusting. I didn’t even lift weights either. I just quit.
The Fat man interrupted my thoughts: “You’ve already met your goal of running 1,000 miles this year. I’m proud of you, you’ve done what you said you would do. Just stop at Target and get some Starbucks and call it a day.”
Maybe the Fat Man has a point, I ought to be proud of what I’ve done and I can always start over on January 1st, which is also a Monday. I mean, that makes sense, right?
“Shut the fuck up!” I demand of the Fat Man.
“Look, the Jeep says it’s 44F outside and you didn’t even bring your gloves”
The Fat Man has a point and knows exactly where my weak points are to attack. He knows I hate running with cold hands or ears.
“I’m already dressed! My running shoes are on, my watch is on my wrist and the HR strap is snug. Target is just 2 minutes away, I’ve got to make a choice!"
“You can just run 2-miles in the neighborhood later! Stop at Target now, pick up what your beautiful wife needs, grab some coffee and head home. Evening traffic is picking up and the temperatures are dropping. You can even grab your gloves and a hat at home!”
Damnit, his arguments seem reasonable and two miles in the neighborhood with gloves is appealing in a way that Homer Simpson views donuts.
“Fuck it! I’m driving past Target! I’ll stop on the way home”
“There will be a lot of traffic. It’s the Holidays. Target will be a shit show. Just stop now, go home, relax. The house is warm, your dog loves you and the couch is soft”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” I scream at him.
“You know as well as I do, your legs feel heavy and your gaining weight again. Just close out 2023 in the comfort of a warm house with Holiday cookies and start again on Monday, January 1st, 2024”
“You know I’m on the verge of diabetes!” I snap back “Nobody wants to deal with that shit. I’m going for a run!”
With that the noise in the Jeep goes quiet….I think I’ve won this argument.
“It’s cold out here. You forgot your headphones and there are a few hills. You don’t want to run along with traffic because the sun will set. Just get back in the Jeep and call it a day. You don’t need to run. You’ve already logged the miles. Relax”
I can’t quit. I’ve parked at the trial head, I’m dressed and I already started my watch to lock in the GPS.
“Look there, the YMCA! It’s warm in there. You should walk in, join back up and just get in a few miles on the treadmill and lift some weights. The place looks empty”
The Fat Man is relentless. Even as I’m about to step off, he is still trying to convince me to take it easy.
I threaten the Fat Man with a picture and I think it works.
“GO ONE MORE” - Today that means I’m going for ONE MORE RUN, regardless of what the Fat Man says.
And just like that, the fat man goes silent and all I hear is the shuffle of my feet below me.
I’ve ran this park many times over the last decade and I’m familiar with all of the possible routes. I know I can get just over 4-miles completed without running the same segment twice.
My legs are moving and I’ve won the argument against the Fat Man! It’s a small accomplishment and a win that only lasts today. So my legs are moving and I still don’t know how far I’m going. I know it’s more than 1-mile and at a minimum 3.10 miles. I decided to just keep going.
With the cool air and my lack of gloves, I pull my sleeves down covering up my watch. I don’t care about my pace nor do I need to check it for the mileage. I know these trials good enough to have a good idea of how far I’ve gone. At every mile the COROS Pace 2 vibrates, I pull up the sleeve, check my pace and keep going.
I don’t care what the pace is. I’m just going to keep driving on.
Without prior planning, I found myself standing at the edge of Lake Benson as the sun was setting. Almost like it was meant to be. I think God placed me there just when I needed to be there. After a few moments of reflection, my mood changed.
I was happy that I was out there running! I was content with not caring about my pace or distance. I was just happy to be able to run under clear skies and witness this sunset.
4.02 Miles | Avg Pace: 9’51” Avg HR: 136 | Best Mile: 9’31” | Feeling: Victorious
Don’t ever give in to the voice in your head that is trying to convince you to “seek comfort”. The mental game we play with ourselves can be a serious battle. I’ve found when my motivation is high, that inner voice telling me to take it easy is muffled if not completely muted.
It’s in those times when motivation is fleeting or diminished that the inner voice of dismay and sabotage gains strength and volume. This inner voice can be mitigated with Discipline! Discipline will prevail and carry the day until motivation returns.