Is Running a Love Language?
My Time and Expectations.
“What’s your plans tomorrow?”
It’s a common question I ask my wife every evening. After 20 years of successful marriage to my best friend, I’ve found that clear, open and honest communication really helps.
That’s why this article may get me in trouble. Because I’m not necessarily asking as an honest inquiry into her agenda. I’m trying to figure out if I can go run with my friends. Yeah, it’s a little selfish, but after 20+ years, I think she knows my true agenda in the question.
It’s not asking for permission, hell I’m a grown man and a red-blooded American. I can do what I want. What I’m really doing is deconflicting competing demands on our time while structuring my running efforts so as not to tread on her top three love languages.
Quality Time. That’s her top love language for receiving love. When I prioritize my time to be with her, it fills her love tank and that leads to everything good.
If you’re asking yourself what the hell are the five love languages, let me enlighten you to a book and concept the U.S. Army introduced to us back in 2008 when deployments and divorces were often and frequent. I think the Army did something right with those “Marriage Retreats”, my wife and I stayed married through multiple deployments.
I’ll keep this short. Mr. Chapman proposes that all people show love and receive love in five different manners. Each person ranks them in importance to them for both showing love and receiving love.
Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch
Receiving/Giving Gifts
Acts of Service
For myself, my top way of showing love is through Acts of Service. However, my wife’s top way of receiving love is Quality Time. Knowing this, I prioritize time to be with her, but here’s the problem.
I have another in my life that requires my time. Running.
“What’s YOUR plans tomorrow?” she asks me.
“I’m going for a run.” I say.
“Of course you are.” she responds.
This is a clear indication that I’ve properly managed my families expectations on my running schedule and how I prioritize fitness into my life. Ever since I linked up with the Clayton Area Runners, I’ve been consistently running on Wednesday evenings for going on eight years now. I’ve established such a routine that is predictable and expected.
In my house, the expectation is that I’m not shifting “Quality Time” away from my wife and towards running. So it works out rather well for me to run while she’s at work or out at some nail or hair appointment. If I am going to allow running to disrupt my quality time, I always ask first: “What’s your plans tomorrow?”
To BQ or Not To BQ: It Takes Time.
Life is short and getting shorter. I’m young enough to still feel like I can do better now than I did in my 20’s, but old enough to know it will take double or triple the time and effort to do so. Even as a young Paratrooper and Leader, I would do Physical Training 3x a day just to keep a slight edge above my troops. It wasn’t easy and took up no less than 2-3 hours of my day, everyday.
I’ve taken an honest look at where I’ve been, a serious evaluation of where I am and a reasonable and prudent review of where I want to be.
To qualify for Boston is to be in a place I’ve NEVER been before. To get there, I must do things I’ve never done. It will require an absolute dedication of my time and effort to the goal. So much time in fact, that I may give this one shot and one shot only.
So what’s my timeline look like going into my BQ Marathon in February 2026?
October 2024 - October 2025: Shred approximately 45 lbs. I currently sit at 220 and that will put my BQ build starting at 175. I don’t make this statement lightly as this requirement may be more difficult than actually running the Marathon.
OCT-NOV-DEC 2024: Continue running 100+ miles per month on a consistent basis while increasing. RACE: RUN RDC 10K on October 27th.
JAN-FEB-MAR: Increase High Intensity Interval Training (H.I.I.T) to 3x per week. Increase running to 120+ miles per month.
APR-MAY-JUN: Half Marathon Build with a goal of Sub 1:40
JUL-AUG-SEP: Dial in my nutrition and shred the remaining weight before the big-build in October. Stay hydrated, healthy and improve on my Half Marathon time.
OCT 2025: Start the 16-week Marathon Build to the February, 2026 Mesa Marathon where I will make my best attempt at a Boston Qualifying Marathon.
I have one year to manage expectations and get my family prepared for the Mesa Marathon build. Those 16 weeks will include miles upon miles and hours of training. The train up will take over my life and be a priority in all my decisions and actions.
To truly commit to training for The Marathon requires TIME.
Be sure you manage your time wisely and in a manner that facilitates your happiness and well being.