*EDIT (10.16.2023) What you are about to read may seem discouraging and odd given my passion for running and my goals of this upcoming Marathon. However, my coach says this is “normal” during this peak month of training. It is a LOT of miles and it takes a lot of time. After that conversation, It appears my training is right on track and my reactions to the quantity of running is normal.
Sunday: 10.8.2023 (Day 78 of 112):
The grind continues! I’m thankful to have woken up with no soreness in my legs as compared to my 18-miler where I had trouble walking down the stairs. I do feel slightly tired and my COROS training hub indicates that I’m “exhausted”, but really I feel alright.
I’ve got 3-easy miles to get done today and with a cold front settled in, temps will remain about 60F all day long. I head to the trail around noon to get in my 3-mile easy run and call it a day. At this point in my training, 3-miles seems like nothing. So short. So quick. This ought to be easy.
The trail is basically empty and there is a slight wind with Carolina blue skies. Not a cloud overhead and the direct sun makes it comfortable enough for shorts and a t-shirt still. After a short bit of stretching and getting my headphones in order, I stepped off for this short, sweet 3-mile shakeout run.
I know I weigh more than this!
For some reason I’m feeling light on my feet and moving faster than expected! My heart rate is down and my breathing is low and steady. Hell, I guess I might as well just ride this wave for what it’s worth and finish out this 3-mile run!
Mile 1: 9’43” | Mile 2: 9’25” | Mile 3: 9’17”
I could have easily gone much faster but decided against it given yesterday was a 20-miler and my legs were a little tired getting into this run. Overall I felt good and will give all credit to the cold front that settled in for the week.
3.00 Miles | Avg Pace: 9’30” Avg HR: 131 | Best Mile: 9’17” | Feeling: Bewildered
Monday: 10.9.2023 (Day 79 of 112): Easy Run
With two, short, easy runs in a row, it was leaving me a little antsy to get more miles. I felt good after yesterday’s 3 mile run at that easy 9’30” pace. I figured I could easily do the same thing today, especially in the cool morning.
I woke up early and decided to hit the trail. It was 5:30am and the Jeep was registering temps in the 40’s! One quick glance at the hourly forecast of the day and the high was only in the 60’s, so I decided to push this run to the right a few hours.
This quick run was pushed to lunch time and it confirmed that my decision making process was on point! The conditions were more palatable and conducive to a good run. The weather was just about perfect with a nice October coolness in the shade contrasted with the warmth of direct sunlight. It was just about right!
My route took me out 1-mile and back 1-mile followed by a loop around the park. I’ve written about this park before and the PFC Sanchez memorial. Every single time I run on this track, it’s a reminder of PFC Sanchez and his commitment to losing over 100lbs to join the USMC, only later to give the ultimate sacrifice for his friends, the Corps and the Country. Quitting is never an option, even the mere thought of quitting isn’t acceptable on this trail. Just do the damn work!
This run felt easy but I felt heavy, but what does that mean? I’ve found that when my heart rate is around 130, physically everything is moving smoothly and the run feels easy. This is simply a metric of my physical condition, sometimes on these runs I’m just not in it emotionally and mentally I’m drained and that results in feeling heavy and slogging along.
3.02 Miles | Avg Pace: 9’31” Avg HR: 131 | Best Mile: 8’49” | Feeling: Weighed Down
Tuesday: 10.10.2023 (Day 80 of 112): Lemonade out of Lemons.
You know what sounds like a good idea on a Monday night? Getting Chipotle with my wife! Of course it sounds like a good idea, we both enjoy Chipotle and we haven’t had it in a while. Why not?!? What could go wrong?
My best estimation is that the lead chef for Taco Bell was fired and subsequently hired on at Chipotle. It only makes sense. How else could Chipotle clean me out and create an unobstructed path through my GI track straight to the toilet? It was horrible. I mean, the food was great, but the after effects were horrendous.
Maybe they just wanted to be more “authentic” and added in some extra ingredients for that true Mexican meal after effects. If you’ve ever had some authentic food in Mexico, cooked with lard and tap water, you know what I’m talking about.
Well, since Monday dinner on was leaving me dehydrated and Tuesday morning didn’t seem any better, there was no way I could get in my planned workout. So I went 100mph into the BRAT diet (Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast) combined with Pepto and that seemed to calm things down by Tuesday afternoon. That’s when I figured I might as well head out to the weekly Club Run on Tuesday and get some miles in.
This will be 3-days in a row where I only did 3-miles!
How the hell am I supposed to run a fast Marathon when I’m on a 3-mile run steak!?
I linked up with a runner who was new to the Tuesday run and we decided to push the pace into the 8’s, so that’s what we did! It was a good 5K with a conversational pace for most of it.
The pace was within my comfort zone and at no point did I have to dig deep. I was feeling faster, but a little disappointed I couldn’t complete the prescribed run by Coach Brown. I’ll have to make up for it!!
3.14Miles | Avg Pace: 8’51” Avg HR: 143 | Best Mile: 8’12” | Feeling: Faster!
Wednesday: 10.11.2023 (Day 81 of 112): 30 Days Out - Feeling Burned Out.
I woke up and I was sick of fucking running. I’m fucking burned out. I feel like all I do is run and when I’m not running I’m thinking about running and when I’m not thinking about it, I’m eating. Even when I’m eating I’m considering if it will lead to faster miles or will slow me down. RUNNING HAS weaved it’s way into almost every fabric of my daily life. I’m fucking burned out.
My mind really fell into a dark place. I was unhappy and emotionally I was so damn torn. I’ve put in all this work, I’m already in Week 12 of 16 and my friends are following along in this journey. I know there’s a few (1 or 2) people following along on my blog, how could I let them all down by being burnt out?!?
Don’t get me wrong. I love to run. I love my Run Club and the social aspect of running really makes my life better. I’ve made good friends and I look forward to seeing everyone every week. I enjoy the health benefits of running along with a sense of pride knowing that if I had to run 26+ miles, I could. It feels good to know I have a physical capability beyond what is normal or expected.
I’M FUCKING DONE!
It’s a statement to my wife, someone has to hear it. She’s in no state to provide emotional stability to me, but I vent to her anyways. This Marathon training is for the birds. I feel overwhelmed and quite honestly, I’m sick of running occupying every space within in my head! I’m thinking I want to get back to lifting weights and moving steel! My wife’s response: “Stick to the Half-Marathon. That’s the perfect distance. You get to run, but won’t get burned out”. I think she’s on to something.
There’s only one thing that I know to do in this situation…………………..
NEVER FUCKING QUIT! It’s that damn simple. Time to double down on my fucking efforts and let DISCIPLINE win the day. Time to address this crap head on.
Knowing I need to address this emotional cloud hovering over my training, I do what I know will work. I double down and go even more! Hell, I only got 30 days left until the Marathon.
As I would do to my kiddos when they got a scrape; I’d look at it and flick it with my finger and say “toughen up kid!”. I’m basically doing that to myself. Just when I’m starting to bitch and complain, it’s time to smack myself and realize it doesn’t hurt, it’s just in my mind and I can control that 100%
I lied.
I lied to my friend.
I told Robert I was going to go early and get in 5-miles at an “easy” pace which is usually around that 10’20” pace. I had to get in 8-miles so I figured I’d go early, knock out 5-miles and then get in another 5k with the club.
For the initial 5-miles I made the decision to run based on “Feel” and avoid looking at my watch as much as possible. I took off on what felt comfortable and around the 1-mile splits I’d glance at my watch and that’s when I realized I was moving much faster than expected. I felt strong and it felt good!
Mile 1: 8’41” | Mile 2: 8’37” | Mile 3: 8’01” | Mile 4: 8’17” | Mile 5: 8’32”
Well fuck. I done lied to Robert and lied to myself. This running shit does feel good!
I get done in time to link up with the club and get in the picture. We had a lot of new runners show up and my pre-run “speech” went a little long! Hell, all I need is someone to yell “SHUT UP! LET’S FUCKING RUN!”. and I’d cut it short.
Regardless, I got the information out and we stepped off. I decided I would go easy on this 5K and run with some new runners and meet some runners I’ve never spoken to before. This run was basically Run fast - jog and talk to a new runner - Run to the next runner - have a conversation - Run to the next run, have a conversation - Run to the next runner and so on and so forth for 5K.
Overall it was a good run and I actually went much faster than expected. Even better I got to have some conversations with friends I haven’t spoken to in a while and got to meet some new runners.
Mile 1: 10’15” | Mile 2: 11’13” | Mile 3: 9’06”
RUN 1: 5.02 Miles | Avg Pace: 8’25” Avg HR: 147 | Best Mile: 7’55” | Feeling: Grateful.
RUN 2: 3.11 Miles | Avg Pace: 10’10” Avg HR: 140 | Best Mile: 8’46” | Feeling: Strong
Thursday: 10.12.2023 (Day 82 of 112): Rest & Travel
It’s the only rest day I have this week, purposefully aligned to coincide with my travel day to Oklahoma. I’ve got a bad attitude as I don’t want to go to Oklahoma. There are only two highlights of this work trip. I get to see my friend Rich, we were Privates together in the 82D Airborne Division, been friends for 20+ years and it’s always great to see him and his wife. Secondly, I get to cross paths with a former Soldier of mine who’s career has sky-rocketed and who is in Oklahoma for some military schools. Someone I haven’t seen in 13+ years.
Friday: 10.13.2023 (Day 83 of 112): The Headwind
Why doesn’t Texas just slide off into the gulf?
Because Oklahoma sucks.
Damnit I hate this state. It’s horrible. No wonder the U.S. Government pushed so many Native Americans out here. It’s miserable, probably not good for much other than an open air prison, also called a “reservation”.
Anyway, I’ve got a “quality” run of a 2-mile Warmup up followed by 4.5 miles at a sub 9’ pace then 2-miles of cool down.
This workout seems almost impossible given the 20+mph headwind exerting substantial force and giving me very tactile lesson in physics. This wide-body frame doesn’t do so well in wind! I’m basically built like a Jeep Wrangler, the least aero-dynamic model you can find and any wind resistance drops my gas-mileage (pace) significantly.
Obviously I’m not a fast enough runner to create my own wind resistance and learn how to deal with this adversity.
Regardless, I put in a good effort and deal with the non-stop, substantial, bullshit natural phenomenon of wind-rivers. I’m going HEAD on into this moving mass of air particles who’s sole job it seems is to slow me down. I think nature has it out for me, or maybe I just need to get strong.
As my coach says, it’s “Resistance Training”! While I appreciate her optimism, it fucking sucks. Just like Oklahoma sucks.
Regardless the workout was done. I’m glad it’s over.
8.5 miles | Avg Pace: 9’59” Avg HR: 140 | Best Mile: 8’49” | Feeling: Disgruntled
Saturday: 10.14.2023 (Day 84 of 112): Hat & Gloves
You know what makes wind even worse, cold air! Don’t be fooled by my smile, this was the first time I had to don the hat and gloves. It’s about 48F and the wind of course is non-stop and making things even more miserable.
On a good note, the sunrise was nice and it’s always fun to hear young troops off in the distance for their first formations, yelling and screaming. Nothing like a Drill Sergeant greeting you first thing in the morning to really make life exciting.
I don’t miss it.
I remember being an 18yr old private, ignorant to the world and wondering why the Army sent me to this god forsaken place called Oklahoma. That was 24 years ago. I still dislike Oklahoma.
Alright, enough dumping on Oklahoma, it’s already a pile a crap. The run went ok, it was easy and my heart stayed very low. This is all in anticipation of the 22-mile run I have tomorrow morning! Something I’m really not looking forward to.
3.02 miles | Avg Pace: 10’32” Avg HR: 124 | Best Mile: 10’32” | Feeling: COLD
You are a mess, I am a mess, who isn'it?!
Life is messy unless you decide to sit back and let your fu**ing day passing by, we are not like that!
We like to our job as best as we can possibly do, embrace a sport life and love unconditionally our family. This is fu**ing messy and personally, I LOVE IT!